THE Autobiography

Have you ever written an autobiography?  The story and details of you life?  When I started this piece of the process I knew it wouldn't be easy-  Thinking through, processing, condensing the details of my life ...ooh...I've already done it and it still puts a bit of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.  But this is just the beginning.  14 pages of single spaced typing later, I have thought through some great questions regarding myself, my family, my expectations, my parenting and my marriage.  At the top of the 3 page list of questions to be covered in our autobiographies is a charge not to discuss our answers with our spouse.  So we wrote out our answers in solitude.  I am so eager to share and process with David!

So, for those of you who are curious (I know I was!) or in the mood for a little introspection, here is the list of questions we covered.  Enjoy!

Your Family of Origin

1. Describe the family you grew up with and the home/s you lived in.
2. What was your father like?  Your mother?
3. How did you get along with any brothers/sisters?
4. How are you like/unlike other members of your family?
5. What are some of your most important (best/worst) memories?
6. Describe your family's adaptability to change.
7. Describe your family's ability to accept differences in others?

Family Relationships

1. Describe your parents as a couple.
2. What kind of marriage did they have as you were growing up?
3. What things did they agree and disagree about?
4. How did your parents resolve conflict?
5. How did your parents handle money, discipline of children and sex education?
6. In what ways would you hope to be like them as a parent?
7. What things would you hope to do differently?
8. Who did you feel closest to as you were growing up?
9. Are your extended family members aware of your adoption plan?
10. Are they supportive and/or do they have concerns related to adoption?

Growing Up

1. As you were growing up, what were your favorite interests/hobbies?
2. What was school like for you?
3. What were your favorite subjects in school?
4. What did you enjoy most about school?
5. What kind of friends did you have?
6. How much dating did you do?
7. What were your biggest problems in your teenage years?

Courtship and Marriage

1. What attracted you to  your husband/wife?
2. How did you decide to get married?
3. What changed after the honeymoon?
4. How were your families alike/different?
5. How did you first get along with your in-laws?  Now?
6. What problems have you and your mate had to overcome since getting married?
7. If this is not your first marriage, briefly discuss your previous marriage or marriages.
8. What have you learned from other relationship that contributes to the success of your current marriage relationship?

Children

1. If you have children, describe what they are like.
2. Are they living with you?
3. If you have children from a previous marriage or relationship, what is your relationship wiht them now?
4. What is your spouse's relationship with your children from a previous marriage or relationship?
5. If you have no children, describe your experiences with other people's children.

General Parenting

1. Why do you want children?
2. What do you expect from your children?
3. What do you want to offer a child?
4. What is your understanding and knowledge of a child's physical, emotional, cognitive and social development?
5. Describe your parenting style or philosophy.
6. How do you plan to discipline your child(ren)?
7. How do you plan to be involved in your child's social and academic development?

Specialized Parenting

1. Describe your adoption expectations.
2. How do you anticipate handling your child's adoption issues?
3. What is your understanding of how a child's emotional and physical development may be impacted by physical, sexual, drug or alcohol abuse?
4. What is your willingness and readiness to address the issues of a child with special needs in the area of sexual abuse, physical abuse, separation and loss, neglect and abandonment and alcohol and drug exposure?
5. How do you plan on telling your child his/her adoption story?
6. Address your willingness to access therapeutic and educational resources.
7. Describe your wilingness and support toward fostering relationships with separated birth siblings.
8. How do you plan to address and present your child's biological social and medical background history?
9. Describe your current feelings, concerns and fears related to birth parents.
10. Describe your attitudes and intentions regarding open adoption.
11. Describe your willingness and ability to adopt a child from a different race and/or culture.
12. Describe your willingness to preserve continuity of your child's ethnic and cultural identity.

Current Family Lifestyle

1. Describe your current and proposed child care arrangements.
2. Describe your work and non work day routines and rituals.
3. What are your basic household rules and expectations?
4. Who does what in terms of chores, homemaking, bill paying, transportation, and home maintenance?
5. Describe how your family deals with privacy and nudity in the home.
6. What kind of recreational, social, religious activities do you engage in?
7. Do you celebrate holidays?  Which ones?  How are they spent?
8. If you have previous adoption or foster care experience, discuss the circumstances and teh adjustment of the children in your family.
9. Describe your diet and exercise patterns/habits.

General

1. What people, places, or events have had the most influence on your life?
2. What hardships or problems have you faced?
3. How did you cope with them?
4. What are some of yoru present goals?
5. What do you enjoy and or dislike about your work?
6. What do you do for fun?
7. Are there things about your present life that you wish to change?

Phew! Are you tired yet?!  What a list, right?  It is quite daunting to realize that that this is simply a spring board for our interview conversations!  On one hand it feels like a really unfair bummer that we are having to go through all of this and defend ourselves and prove that we would be fit parents.  On the other hand I realize that thinking through these things will do nothing but help us to be better parents.  More intentional, more self-aware, more prepared.  I choose to be thankful rather than resentful.  Because having a child is worth all of this and more. 

Our Wonderful Training - Day 2

We were so excited to return for Day 2 of our training.  Our first segment was on the basics of Child Growth and Development with a slant toward how things might be unique for an adopted child.  We really appreciated that our speaker framed the discussion with Scriptures - several of them.  The one that stands out the most to me is Luke 2:52  "And Jesus great in wisdom, in stature and in favor with God and man."  I hadn't ever thought about how this verse incorporates every main area of child development.  Wisdom refers to mental, emotional & spiritual development; Stature refers to physical development; Favor refers to social, emotional & spiritual development.  So cool!  We were encouraged to be students of our children.  We were told that a common thread to reactivity in children (or anyone really) is grief- something we must always keep in mind rather than simply disciplining behavior.  We were challenged to be the rock solid place of peace for our children - a non-anxious presence of healing in their lives.  We were called to guard our child's heart and to read Ted Tripp's book Shepherding Your Child's Heart.

We discussed Discipline, Boundary Setting and Parenting Styles- things we could have talked about for days.  I loved these parenting objectives we covered:

• Train up your child according to their uniqueness
• Prepare children to love and be loved
• Prepare children for responsability

It was fun to think through different things we could do to help with the transition.  Objects or activities we can implement to comfort our grieving child and help ease the transition.  Things like pieces of music birth mom listened to while pregnant, books she may have or could read to the babies in utero, clothing or objects that might represent their connections.

After lunch we watched a documentary on interracial adoption.  It was challenging, heart breaking and eye opening.  Here are a few quotes from an adult Korean woman adopted by a white suburban family in Oregon.  They loved her dearly but never discussed her adoption and she bore the scars.

• "If my family accepts & embraces my Korean identity then I know that they adopted me and not just an idea."
• "Adopted kids learn to not trust their emotions because they are grieving when everyone else is celebrating."
• "I'm not interracial alone - we are an interracial family.  It's not my burden but our burden.  But they refuse to carry it with me and if they do its as if its a favor.  And that hurts."
• "Adoptees work hard to protect the adoptive parents because they are told they are lucky to have been adopted."
• "biological resemblance is a powerful and constant affirmation of belonging and identity."
• "families adopt -- adoptees adapt"

This woman was speaking from her position of so much pain.  It brought to light so many valid and crucial questions when facing being an interracial family. 

Next we talked about Newborn Baby Care!  This was fun :)  Each table was given a couple of baby dolls that we practiced swaddling and diapering and I will admit...I cuddled and held our bundle of plastic as if it were a real little one.  I really appreciate that our agency included this in our training.  I think most/all agencies require adoptive parents to attend one of these and most of them are given at the hospital and filled with big, round, pregnant bellies.  I am so thankful we didn't have to deal with any of that!  We talked a little about lactation induction (breast feeding as an adoptive mom) and it was really interesting.  We considered it and learned more about it before we decided it wasn't for us.  I really really wanted to give it a try but decided not to anyway.  The basics?  Taking several pills (hormones & herbs) 4 times a day, renting a hospital grade pump and pumping every 3 hours for 20-30 minutes on each side (and once through the night) and about $2000 all with a 50% success rate of any significant milk production.  Yikes!  I applaud those women who make it happen!

Lastly we had a panel of birth relatives share their stories and answer questions.  The panel included birth moms, birth grandmothers and one birth dad.  It was honestly the most overwhelming and difficult part of our training for me.  Each of these women (except for one) had very open and close adoptions.  One woman takes her child on vacations and has him over for sleep overs!  Several of these women chose adoptive parents from people they already knew.  All of the women expressed their peace and confidence that they made the right decision for themselves and their children, but all of them obviously felt deep pain at the same time.  They referred to the children as 'my son' & 'my daughter'.  They built friendships with the families before the baby was born, spent time in their homes and talked on the phone.  All of this really intimidated me and quite honestly scared me.  I think I will continue to grieve at different stages the loss of being a child's only mother.  The pain of knowing that my child comes to me with an already broken heart that I cannot simply fix or pretend away.  I left the training in tears, telling David that there was no way I could do this.  No way I am strong enough for this.  I had thought newborn adoption was the 'easy' form of adoption but I no longer have that perspective.  Each form of adoption carries with it its own set of challenges and pains - for the child and the parents.  One of the things mentioned somewhere in this training was that grief is the one thing that all members of the adoption triad (child, birth family, adoptive family) have in common.  That resonates deep in my heart to this day.  But as I've reflected on it redemption is also something we all have in common!  Hope and healing.  I pray that the grief is acknowledged, respected and then given the God so that we can all focus on the redemption rather than the pain.

I was sharing all of this with a mentor of mine- my fears and insecurities, my anxieties and questions surrounding adopting and child- and she encouraged my heart so much.  Let me share with you what she said.  As an adoptive mother going through this process and walking this road, God is calling me to a place that all women should start out in as mothers...a place of true selflessness.  Raising a child is not about me, its not about the mother, its about the child- its about putting the child first every moment of every day, of letting go of them.  Entering into motherhood as the "second mother", I am in a sense having to let go of my child before they are even a concrete thought in my mind.  I am not in control of one detail - not any facet of their prenatal care, there is no birth plan I get to make - none of it is in my hands.  It's almost as if I am entrusting the first 9 months of my child's life to a stranger.  Kind of an unusual way to look at it but it makes sense.  What encouraged my heart so much is that this struggle is not something that I am alone in but one that every mother faces.  Some not until their child heads off to kindergarten or high school or even college, but all nonetheless must let go of their children.  And in some ways, the sooner the better for the child to become who God created them to be rather than who mom wants them to be.  My first common ground challenge as a mom.  I like it.

Like any good period of instruction, we feel like we left training with more questions than answers :)  By no means do we feel 'trained' and ready to be parents but we are so excited for the journey God is equipping us for.  We cannot wait! 

Our Wonderful Training - Day 1

Its been 3 weeks since our training already and I am finally in a place where I can write about it!  Our training was really incredible but it was definitely a roller coaster of emotions- at least for me.  Lesson to self:  don't be controlled by your emotions.  It's exhausting.

We spent a bit of time getting to know the group of people we were with.  Our group was about half in the domestic infant program and half in the international program.  A couple of the families were from out of state and had heard so highly of Hope's Promise that they deemed the travel worth while!  One table seated a family of relatives to the adopting couple because they had gotten the call literally that morning that they were chosen by a birth mom who had just delivered in the hospital and they were with their baby!  WOW!  That brought cheers from around the room.

Each table put together a couple of lists.  Expectations of the birth mom, the adoption process and the agency.  From the birth mom nearly everyone expected honesty, respect, high emotions and flexibility.  From the adoption process the general expectations were that it would be long, costly, worth it, emotional and life long.  From the agency we expect honesty, timeliness with paperwork/process, understanding of the pain involved, child focused and training.  It was a helpful conversation.  Of each table to compile expectations (about 14) only one put on the list that they expected a BABY out of this process :)  Its the obvious given but everyone had a laugh when the facilitator (Hope's Promise founder) gave a huge sigh of relief upon finally hearing it.  "Phew!  I was getting a little nervous!"  :)

Our first chunk to get through was all of the legaleaze of adoption in the state of Colorado.  Did you know that Colorado is one of only SIX states that require families to use an adoption agency vs. hiring an adoption lawyer?  Interesting.  We also learned that the birth certificate has birth family information on it only along with birth name until the document is sealed 6 months after placement.  At that point the birth certificate is altered with adoptive parents names and adopted given name.  Birth mom makes every decision in the hospital.  She will make a birth plan ahead of time as to when we will be to see/hold/care for the baby but there are almost always changes to that plan.  We were cautioned not to get too attached to the plan, to stay flexible and to avoid adding any sense of obligation or guilt to the relinquishment process for birth mom.  (Scary stuff!)  75% of birth moms choose 'expedited relinquishment' where they sign over all legal rights to the baby 4 business days after the birth.  There is no requirement of a paternity test, but every possible father must give consent to the adoption process as well.  This can sometimes really slow up the process.

Next was the all important openness factor.  At our table one of the adopting fathers was adopted as a baby through a closed adoption.  The pain of this choice created a very clear desire for the most open relationship they could have with their baby's birth mom.  Here are some brief definitions. 

• Closed : no identifying information (last names, address, emails) exchanged and no contact
• Semi-Open: no identifying information but contact through a third party (typically through the agency)
• Open: exchange of identifying information and uniquely shaped plan of direct contact

Where do we fall?  Somewhere between Semi-Open and Open.  We appreciated our speaker recognizing that it is hard to imagine and define a relationship with someone you've never met.  She paralleled this situation with one of trying to define your relationship with your in-laws before you've met them or your spouse.  It was also interesting to find out that this relationship is not legally binding in any way.  It is not a contract it is purely a relationship and is flexible.  We were encouraged to tell our baby his or her birth story and adoption story from day one.  Practice before they can even speak and it will be a constant part of their experience.  Once they are old enough to ask questions and get involved with their story you, the adoptive parents will be completely comfortable talking with them that it will be no big deal.  Our speaker shared a humorous story where her adopted son was sitting at the dinner table complaining about eating his broccoli when he suddenly got quiet and then said "I wonder if my birth mom likes broccoli."  With their level of openness in adoption she immediately responded "Well, would you like to call her and ask her?"  He said "No" and that was the end of it.  Sometimes these little questions can become so much bigger if there isn't an option to discover the answer.  Just knowing he could know was enough to keep it from becoming a big deal.  To be quite honest, we see the benefits of this but that level of openness is a little intimidating. 

Our next segment was about attachment and bonding - TRULY fascinating stuff and my very favorite part of the training.  Bonding is a spontaneous emotional relationship that develops during pregnancy.  Every child is born bonded to their birth mother.  Attachment is a chosen relationship based on the ability to give and receive love and occurs after birth.  Even a newborn placed for adoption deals with grief a loss of all they have ever known and must choose to reattach to his or her adoptive parents.  This is where the all important attachment cycle comes in.  30-50 times EACH day a baby goes through the calm--> need--> need met--> trust built cycle.  If the baby's needs are not met, the trust is not built.  This is a key cycle for healthy attachment for 1-2 years of the child being in your family and is heavily tested by the child 30-60 days in to the relationship.  Baby will often attach to dad first and easiest because dad was not the child's loss.  Baby has already lost a mom, so attaching to mom is more challenging and requires much greater risk on the part of the child.  We were encouraged to make and keep baby's world small for the first couple of months at least.  For us to be the only ones that meet baby's needs in order to create this attachment and to become more skilled at loving them than they are at rejecting love due to their loss.  A quote that stuck with me was "Many are committed to answer the call of adoption but not equipped to pay the cost."  I was a bit surprised and had not realized that even our adopted newborn will grieve a huge loss from day one- not just when they are old enough to consciously process their adoption.  I cannot wait to build trust with my baby!  Our book includes a list of 27 symptoms of an unattached baby- a check list of sorts to think through when the baby is 3-4 months old to see how emotionally healthy and attached our baby is at that time.

We finished the day on medical and health issues.  Shaken Baby Syndrome:  happens in seconds, 20% die, average age is 7 months, 50% of the time by loving parents.  "No baby has ever died from crying, but they have died from being shaken."  Know your limits.  Walk away.  Genetic risk factors, environmental risk factors (second hand smoke, chemicals, stress...) and Prenatal substance abuse of which alcohol is the most severe and long term.

We left day one feeling really excited and hopeful- so very eager to have our baby in our arms, love on him or her and build our attachment.  This was a really great day of training - more to come in a separate post on Day 2.

~In The System~

We've been made ;)  Yesterday we went to the police station down town and had our fingerprints done!  I still can't believe how quickly things are happening and how soon we will likely have a baby in our home!  Not much else to report.  We were encouraged to get these done ASAP as it has been taking 6-8 weeks to get these reports back to our agency.  So we are thrilled to be getting these babies into the mail! 

Just for fun, do you know what kind of fingerprint you have?  David very clearly has 'Whorl' fingerprints and I very clearly have 'Simple Loop' fingerprints.  I wonder what kind of fingerprints our baby will have? 

And We're Off!

Here it is!  Our notebook ...sigh...  I'm so excited and cannot believe that at the end of all of this paperwork God will bless us with a baby!  A baby you guys!  WaHoo!!!!  :)  So...how did our meeting go today?  I'm so glad you asked because I am dying to tell you!  It went wonderfully.  Here are some bullet points-

• Meet Beth- the head of the domestic adoption program.  She asks us why we are adopting and why we have chosen domestic infant adoption at this time.  We share our hearts and she shares her story.  She adopted a newborn and then went into foster care and adopted 2 more kiddos from the foster system.  Pretty much amazing since this is pretty much how we envision our family growing :)
• We ask a couple of questions.  How do they get in touch with birth moms?  Mainly birth moms are referred to Hope's Promise via pregnancy centers, doctors offices & other birth moms.  What is a disrupted adoption and how often does it occur?  Disruption specifically refers to a baby being taken out of an adoptive family's home after placement.  This does not include any circumstance in which the birth mom decides to parent at any point before she places the baby in the prospective adoptive home.  So, how often does the birth mom decides to parent after given birth & after making an adoption plan?  They don't keep track of that- or at least they don't share those numbers.  They fully support the birth mom's decision to parent at any point should she change her mind.  (To be completely honest, this part is a little scary to me...read: no baby showers until after the baby is home and birth mom has relinquished.)  
• We go page by page through our handy dandy Domestic Adoption Process Manual and the checklist of paperwork required.  All of the expected things like fingerprints, guidelines for writing our bios, financial sheet, request for proof of insurance and employment, medical releases and so much more.  Partially overwhelming, but mostly super exciting.  I don't know if maybe hearing over and over just how much paperwork there is truly prepared me for this or what, but I'm really not as overwhelmed as I thought I would be.  

So what will we be doing for the next couple of months?  Praying for our birth mom, filling out paperwork, gathering letters from required sources, praying for financial provision, fundraising, putting together our profile book, praying for patience and dreaming of someday holding our little one close to our hearts.

There were a couple of exciting details that we learned/confirmed today.

• We will be assigned a case worker once this packet of paperwork is completed.  This creates the swiftest timeline of getting assigned to a case worker who is available to start our interviews asap. 
• If we are quick with our paperwork and financially ready to move forward, we could be in the waiting pool and being considered by birth moms in as little as TWO MONTHS!  
• Typical wait time between being placed in the waiting pool and bringing a baby home from the hospital is EIGHT - ELEVEN MONTHS!  
• It is possible that our baby has been conceived or is going to be conceived this month or in the next couple of months!  That's pretty exciting :)
• Should the most difficult of things actually happen and we have a birth mom change her mind and decide to parent after she has had the baby or even after placement, our profile with go back into the waiting pool to be shown to birth moms at no additional fee.
• At least 6 months after we bring the baby home from the hospital, our adoption will be finalized legally (per Colorado state law).  Until that point, we are by law considered foster parents and the baby is in custody of Hope's Promise.  The birth parents typically relinquish within 3 days of the baby's birth- it is not a matter of the baby going back to birth mom but a matter of assuring we are stable and the baby is healthy in our care. 

I ran across this verse while reading through various adoption blogs recently

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, 
to the woman who diligently seeks. 

It’s a good thing to quietly hope,  
quietly hope for help from God.   

Lamentations 3:25-26

We pray for the grace to passionately wait, diligently seek and quietly hope.
God is so faithful and we entrust this journey to Him entirely.

Update & Poem

I ran across this poem while browsing adoption blogs.  Love it!  Brief update:  We are simply waiting on the finances to move forward with our homestudy!  We are completely dependent on God to supply the money and are excitedly waiting on His timing.  We cannot wait to take the next step and be that much closer to bringing our baby home!  Would you consider helping us?  Sponsor a puzzle piece and be a part of this amazing adventure!


LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
-Unknown

 

Sponsor an Animal!

Check it out on our 'Puzzle Fundraiser' page.  We've added the option to sponsor an animal!  When you make a donation of the amount of pieces for a specific animal, your name will be written on the back of those specific pieces!  For example, 20 pieces or $200 sponsors the flamingos! 

If you've already donated just let us know what animal you'd like to sponsor!  We prefer not to split the animals up except for possibly in the case of the tigers, lions and the ark.  If you are interested in those pieces, let us know! 

We are so excited and think this is a fun way to add to our fundraiser and make it more enjoyable for everyone! 

As always, HUGE THANKS to everyone who finds it in their hearts to support us on this journey!

PS We have made Paypal available for donations but if possible we would appreciate receiving donations in other ways as Paypal deducts 3% of the donation to cover their own fees. 

Application Accepted!

We received an email today formally accepting us into the adoption process with Hope's Promise!  I had hopes what we would have our initial interview with them the first week of September, and in order for that to happen we need to have $2000 as this meeting will also start our home study process!  We are about halfway there and praying to begin this process as soon as possible!  We are continually reminded that God knows who our Birth Mom is, when she will conceive and when she will be looking at adoptive parent profiles!  He holds the timeline in His hands and we are SO thankful to have such loving, wise and strong hands to rest in. 

We continue to be amazed and incredibly grateful for those who have already partnered with us in this process!  Both financially and otherwise!  We feel so blessed and so thankful for each of your support.  We pray that God would bless you for your great kindness. 

One step closer to bringing our baby home forever!

Woo Hoo!

After spending a little extra time praying about this decision and talking it through with some deeply trusted friends, we have sent in the non-refundable deposit and first chunk of paperwork :)  Our next step will be to have an appointment to meet our social worker and receive our next big chunk of paperwork.   AND today we reached 50 puzzle pieces sponsored!  

WE ARE SO EXCITED!!!!!

A Few Tiny Steps :)

A couple of pretty exciting (to us) things happened today!

~Our Puzzle Arrived!!!  We ordered it just over 10 days ago and were so excited to be putting it together and sharing the progress in slideshow form here on our blog. Slowly but surely we are going to get there.  We are assured with peace that the Lord will provide the money just as we need it.  He is putting these pieces together :)

~We set up our account!!  We wanted to have a checking account used only for our adoption and we were both beaming with excitement!  With huge grins on both of our faces we spoke to our familiar banker lady and shared our happy news as she helped us open the account.  SO much fun :)

~Permission to Dream!  Along this infertility path we have held ourselves back from dreaming.  Except for those brief weeks of pregnancy, we haven't put voice to our hopes and questions.  The past couple of days we have enjoyed moments of dreaming.  Will our baby be a boy or a girl?  What will they look like?  Will he or she be here one year from now?  By Thanksgiving?  Christmas?  Permission to dream has been HUGE!

The Relief of Letting Go

It's been a little over one week since we made the adoption decision.  There has been a bit of grief but for the most part there has been a great sense of relief.  A burden being lifted.  I'm so thankful for the blessing of letting go.

No More:

• frequent doctors appointments
• oral medications 
• hormonal side effects
• shots
• temperature charts
• hormone patches
• ovulation tests
• 2 week waits
• timed intercourse
• cold doctors office bathroom floors (yeah...don't ask)
• ultrasounds
• negative pregnancy tests
• and so much more!

Embracing this new dream has been amazing!  Challenging for sure.  But I am so excited.  Adoption carries with it a brand new set of things to look forward to and issues to process.  Its exciting to look into the future and finally be confident that we will be parents someday!  To talk about it and plan for it as if we are just at the beginning of a long and open ended pregnancy. 

What a relief!  :)

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, 

but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."  

Proverbs 13:12

Beautiful Beginnings

It’s TRUE!

We have decided to adopt a baby!

We are overjoyed to share this news and walk this path with such faithful friends and family.  10 wonderful years of marriage, countless months trying to conceive and one miscarriage later…we are eager to welcome a baby into our lives through the beautiful means of adoption.

We are just starting out–planning mostly–gathering paperwork, budgeting, dreaming.  Join us on this adventure!

We have decided to go through an agency here in Colorado called Hopes Promise.  It is a private Christian adoption agency with really friendly and helpful staff, reasonable wait times and most importantly a huge passion for caring for children.

We will keep this blog updated with where we are at in the process and how we are doing.

I found this poem written by an adoptive mother and found it so beautiful.

Mother to Child

Conceived in my heart I earnestly prayed,
But never imagined you’d come so arrayed.
Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,
Not under my heart, but oh, so deep in it sown.
I knew from the start since the moment we met,
When my eyes gazed upon you, destiny was set,
To enter but a short journey as mother and child,
With joy and sorrows, memories to be compiled,
A mosaic of beauty with many colors entwined,
The fabric so strong, with my Savior combined.
I love you sweet child, and in time you will see,
You’re much more than chosen, but precious to me,
For God planted this yearning in me long ago,
To bring Him forth fruit, that together we grow!